


Wildest Wind

by PaladinDesSchattens



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal
Genre: Eventual Romance, First Kiss, M/M, Past life, Promise, tho imo I think their love goes beyond romance, zexal month
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-08-07 16:36:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7722010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaladinDesSchattens/pseuds/PaladinDesSchattens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Zexal Month, my True OTP. Set a few weeks post canon.</p><p>Kaito never dealt really well with rain, due to him connecting it with all bad things which happened to him thorough his life since he was a child. He tries to calm himself down as he's not tired enough to sleep, but it's a poor attempt. Eventually Mizael joins him on his sleepless night self-loathing and they get to talk about their pasts, Mizael fulfilling the unspoken promise he gave Kaito as he died in their tragic last duel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wildest Wind

**Author's Note:**

> I listened to IAMX' Wildest Wind while I was biking yesterday to find inspiration.   
> The song can be found here:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFS5AnF_D74

 

_You're the wildest wind_

_The electric moon_

_Sunday morning photographs will only open_

_Sunday morning wounds_

_When the melody ends_

_I will be waiting here for you_

_My wildest wind_

_Come blow into my room_

 

  
  
He had been staring too long at his computer screen without making any changes on the code he was working on. It was late.

His father would scold him the next morning if he finds out about him almost pulling another all nighter over code he had more than enough time to finish up, so he saved the file and shut down his laptop eventually.

It had been raining the entire afternoon until now — and without his computer’s soft humming disrupting the sound of the rain knocking on the big windows of his room, it was clearly hearable. 

 

Rain. It was something Kaito couldn’t connect to any memories he liked to remember. He was shivering a little, didn’t realise how cold his room had become over time, so he got up from his chair to close the window and turn on the heating, almost knocking one of his notebooks off his messy desk. He would care about that later. 

 

The rain made him uneasy and usually he just tried to sleep off things which were making him anxious, at least that worked most of the time when he wasn’t drowning himself in work. He hated it when his anxiety was showing, even when he was alone. But his mind was too wide awake and all over the place, the rain unnerving, the room too cold. He took his cardigan from the armchair in the left corner of his room and put it on, then left the room.

He was in the mood for a warm drink.   


With a cup of hot chocolate he went back upstairs, trying to ignore the loud rain outside. Past midnight, Sunday just had begun. Kaito felt anxious, and while he sipped from the cup he burned his tongue. He cursed.   


There were pictures of his past making their way into his thoughts and he pressed his eyes close, shaking his head as if that would make them disappear. 

 

The first picture had been the day his father came home from the hospital, his coat was soaking wet. Kaito was barely 11 years old; his father asked to follow him into his parent’s bedroom.   
_Kaito my dear, you have to be strong, you hear me? Your mummy doesn’t feel good. Haruto’s birth made it worse and… They say it could be that she is leaving us._ — _What does that mean, Dad?,_ Kaito asked, almost naïve. Well, he knew what it meant. But his father speaking the truth, confirming the thought Kaito didn’t want to have, didn’t want to accept until this day, made it clear.   
_Mummy might not survive her illness._

 

The day of his mother’s death it was storming. The day of her funeral was sadness drowned in the rainfall, making Kaito’s tears succumb, becoming one with the rain. As if the world was mourning her with him. Even the baby he was holding in his arms cried, and it didn’t stop crying until the night. From that day on rain became Kaito’s symbol of sadness.

 

He also remembered the day on which the doctor confirmed Haruto’s sickness being just as chronic and severe as their deceased mother’s. It was raining when his family started to fall apart.

 

The day he and Christopher parted was ruled by a thunderstorm. Kaito started to hate the rain. It made him cry and the world cried with him, for him.  


 

Kaito didn’t want to think anymore. He sat down on the stairs, sipping his hot chocolate and trying to warm himself up, physically as emotionally. The loneliness of the night was his usual best friend, but in combination with rain his worst enemy. 

 

So he started humming to himself, the same melody his mother was singing to him when he wasn’t able to sleep when he was little, the same melody he sung to Haruto, the same he used to whistle before every hunt. He didn’t realise he had started to cry until one of his tears dripped into the empty cup. Kaito wiped his face with the sleeves of his cardigan. Pathetic. How such little things as rain could make him break. 

 

Kaito stared into the darkness for a while, waiting. For what, he didn’t know. He could hear the ticking of the big grandfather clock downstairs, the noise of rain and wind.   
About to get up from the stairs, he was interrupted by steps on the wooden floor. Like the wild wind outside, swift the other person’s feet touched the ground. Kaito turned his glance to the direction of sound, and a moment later he and the other looked at each other. Mizael’s voice was soft. 

 

“Can’t you find any sleep either?”

 

He nodded. The former Varian joined him on the stairs, brushing his long hair over his shoulder. He looked tired, as much Kaito could make out in the darkness, with exception of his eyes, those reminding him of the starry sky, deep blue and full of life. He liked those eyes. 

For a while they were just sitting next to each other in silence, until Mizael spoke again.

 

“… I can’t sleep when it’s full moon.”   
  
Kaito could feel him shiver. For a second he thought about wrapping an arm around the other, but he wasn’t sure how Mizael would react. It had been weeks since he convinced his father to let him live with them, yet they didn’t talk properly in all that time… neither was Kaito sure about anything. But his company right now let his anxiety slowly vanish. And his company let him speak. 

 

“I can’t sleep when it’s raining.” 

 

His confession was followed by a question for the why. And an apology, if it was something Kaito didn’t want to speak about. But he did. 

 

“Bad things happen when it rains. I don’t want bad things to happen.”

 

It seemed explanation enough for Mizael. And he made a little attempt to comfort him, but he withdrew his hand before he could — He looked at him, asking silently for his approval. Kaito nodded and Mizael took his hand in his. “Bad things won’t happen tonight. I promise.”

Kaito wanted to believe him. The mention of the full moon made him unable to. 

 

Mizael apologised. Kaito didn’t know what for. He mentioned the moon again. It made sense. But he didn’t want him to apologise for this, he whispered that there was nothing he had to apologise for. He chose to give his life. He had been on the edge of dying anyway. 

 

“But I did _kill_ you.” There were tears in his eyes and his voice was breaking. “I can’t forgive myself.”   
It was Kaito holding his hand now. He brushed with his thumb over Mizael’s palm. 

“Please stop beating yourself up about this, okay?” He tried to be comforting, as much as his personality let him do so. Mizael squeezed his hand. 

 

“I am trying.” 

 

Kaito nodded. For another moment they were sitting together in silence until he decided to suggest making tea. Mizael agreed and they walked to the kitchen together, awkwardly holding hands. 

The kettle is old and noisy but who cares. They didn't. Chamomile tea would calm them down the best, warm their hearts. Kaito put in more sugar than needed. He’s like that, undeniably sweet.

 

They took a seat in the living room, steaming hot tea cups on the small coffee table in front of them. Kaito put a blanket over Mizael’s shoulders which he thanked him for silently. The grandfather clock on the other side of the room announced the first hour of the new day. 

 

“You’re too good to me.”, Mizael admitted, wrapped in the cozy blanket, knees drawn up so he could rest his chin on them. Kaito sighed softly. Mizael continued to speak. 

 

“I didn’t expect you, after all of this, asking me to stay with your family. I am still… confused about it.”

 

Kaito figured in Mizael’s voice sorrow speaking. And anxiety. That Mizael wasn’t accepted as much as Kaito assured him he was; truly it took effort to convince his father — Haruto didn’t mind, but Dr. Faker was worried about Kaito, visibly. But he had agreed to it, with the minor exception of Kaito having to cover Mizael’s finances. A hard task he was willing to take though. He rather kept this to himself though, the way Mizael blamed himself already on so many things he wouldn’t want to feel like a burden as he already did. 

 

“Well, I couldn’t live with the thought of you having to live a life you aren’t used to from one day to another. I am… just trying to support you until you figured it out.”, he explained it simply.   
“I would be lying if I would say I can understand the struggle of your… your age.”

 

He could see Mizael biting his bottom lip from the corner of his eyes. 

“Compared to _this,_ my age and this new life is minor.”, he replied shortly, staring down to the ground. “You’re so selfless, Kaito. I can’t handle it.”

 

An expression of surprise was visible on Kaito’s face. Mizael continued. 

 

“Everything that I have witnessed of your person were acts of selflessness. You give so much to the people who mean something to you, no matter how much they’ve hurt you. Since the first time I have met you, all of your actions were to protect the ones you love. And I honestly admire that.” 

 

Kaito was overwhelmed by Mizael’s directness of how he was seeing him. To not embarrass himself with being unable to reply, he took his cup of tea and took a sip. It was still hot and burned his tongue. 

 

“Kaito, I… don’t deserve this.”

 

The cup was put back on its former place. 

 

“I asked you to stop beating yourself up about this.”, Kaito replied sharply. He was a bit annoyed by Mizael’s self-loathing, though he understood it all to well. The things Kaito did in his past were awful and he couldn’t handle Mizael speaking so high of him either. 

 

“But—“ 

 

“There’s no ‘but’, Mizael. I am alive and this is what matters. The here and now. Please do me a favour and let the past go.” The eagerness in his voice turned soft quickly again. 

 

Mizael blinked a few times and shook his head. The moment tears were becoming visible, Kaito took his hand in his once more and squeezed it softly. 

 

“I know it’s not easy to let go. But I believe in you.”, he reassured him. 

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Don’t mention it.”

 

Another while of silence broke upon them, interrupted by the clock’s ticking and the rain. The storm outside started to calm down slowly with them together.

 

They drank tea together, warm and comforting chamomile healing their open wounds as no other medicine could ever. The two men exchanged looks, gave each other a silent agreement to let those negative emotions go. It was troublesome, and it took them a good while for them to realise how much they needed each other right now; as if that wasn’t clear all the time, they were both quite dense to those emotions sometimes. Stoic and proud. That didn’t matter anymore.

 

Eventually they found comfort in a first, intimate yet innocent hug. Mizael rested his head on Kaito’s chest, he could listen to his heartbeat and Kaito could play with his hair. It was awkward at first, especially for Kaito who was irritated by any kind of touch he received from anyone who wasn’t Haruto. Years and years of abuse he experienced in the times of becoming a Number Hunter made him averse. But to his surprise he could relax quickly with Mizael in his arms. 

 

“I still owe you my past.”, Mizael whispered after a while. His warm breath tickled Kaito’s skin. He didn’t reply, it would be out of place if he would. So Mizael started to talk. 

 

Mizael was a child of loving parents he lost too early in his life, the memory too vague and old that he had trouble to describe their faces. He remembered fire and blood, the smell of burned flesh and wood, the sound of iron clashing and breaking bones. Scared for his life he ran into the desert in panic, his heart had never been beating so fast, he remembered how it hurt his small body, his throat dry and his face hurt from all the tears covering his cheeks. Despite being the child of a nomadic family, they had been settling in a permanent residence for that time, which was, now that Mizael thought of it, their downfall. He didn’t learn to survive the brutality of the vast emptiness of the country he had been born in to, the cold of the night making him freeze and the later sun burned his skin and made him collapse. 

 

If Jinlong wouldn’t have found him, he would have died. 

 

Mizael remembered riding on the dragons back for the first time. He was small, weak and on the edge of dying, so the dragon didn’t rest, flew over the desert until they reached the Yellow River, thousands of miles separated Mizael’s past from his new beginning. The dragon watched over him while he was drinking from the river’s water, and while he bathed in it, it used it’s teeth to carefully pick fruit from the trees too high for Mizael to reach. He gave him to eat, and when Mizael felt his strength returning, the dragon let him climb on his back once more and they flew together to the mountains.

 

Kaito could feel Mizael lighting up as he talked about the dragon who he owed his life to and it made him feel warm. Mizael smiled, and his smile made Kaito feel happiness. 

 

Jinlong taught Mizael so much about life. He was the only one who knew that dragons could shape shift their appearance human-like, his dragon made of light and gold was like a father to him, and Jinlong loved him like his own son. The dragon taught him the values of life, made him gather wisdom and gain inner peace. Mizael learned how to focus his spirit from him, to awake a power to heal and protect. He learned to become complete. Mizael inspired no awe, he was never angry. He didn’t store and save, but he never lacked. 

 

This was his true self, his true personality. In that very moment he told Kaito he realised who he was. He stared at his hand for a moment, realising the power he inherited, it was all visible. He clenched it to a fist and sorrow brushed the light from his face.

 

“But then they turned against me. The people I tried to protect lost trust in me and my dragon one day to the other, as the winter had been hard and the harvest was not plentiful. They knew I didn’t eat the five grains to survive. They blamed the dragon and yet I put all human emotions to rest a long time ago, I felt sorrow. I tried to heal but failed, they didn’t listen. And as I offered my life for them to not lose their belief in Jinlong, they didn’t listen. I failed in my most important mission as their protector. I failed to save my dragon and my people.”

 

Mizael followed the markings on his face with his index finger as he spoke. He was lost in his sadness until Kaito took his hand once again into his. “You aren’t a failure, Mizael.”, he whispered softly.   


“Why do you think that?”

 

“Because you shouldn’t take upon yourself what Don Thousand did to you. He manipulated your people just as he did manipulate you. Nothing of that was your fault, and let me say… you’re just as selfless as you described me before.” 

 

Kaito helped him to sit up on the sofa with him, not letting go Mizael’s hand. 

 

“I don’t know.”, Mizael replied. 

 

“But I do. Thank you for telling me your story.”

 

Actually he wanted to spill out his heart to Mizael, but he wasn’t a person of many words. Mizael’s story moved something in him, he saw his true self under all the layers of sadness and guilt Mizael carried on his shoulders, and Kaito wished for nothing more than taking them from him, making him smile again. He wanted him to be happy, happy with this new life just being himself, selfless and soft and pure. 

They were so similar yet different, and Kaito realised slowly how he was falling in love with Mizael in that very moment. He bit his lip, it was a now or never moment he was able to make this decision: to tell him about his feelings.

 

_You make my heart sing._

 

His lips brushed against Mizael’s cheek and Kaito pressed a soft kiss on the red marking. He was shivering and so was Mizael. The kiss was innocent and quick. He got up from the sofa and made an attempt to leave, a bit embarrassed by how much he was showing to him quickly for his shyness to showing affection. It’s against his nature.

Yet before he could leave, Mizael got up and pulled him back into a tight hug, eyes closed and pressing his face into Kaito’s shoulder, shaking as he was overwhelmed by emotions flooding him; it was mutual, and a moment later Mizael pressed their lips together. 

 

“Can I ask you what happened to you, next time?”, he whispered into his ear. Kaito nodded, resting his head in the crook of Mizael’s neck. The former Varian, his rival and now lover, caressed his cheek softly, turning Kaito’s head once more so he could kiss him again.   
  
Mizael’s lips are soft and his kisses wash away all of Kaito’s Sunday morning wounds, making the rain a new memory of security and love for the first time in his life, a good one. 

 

_  
You’re the wildest wind _

_ You're the home beneath the ruin _

_ Self-loathing or the darkest drug will never keep me _

_ From loving _

_ You make my heart sing _

_ Every time you brush against me _

_ My wildest wind _

_ Come make me smile again _

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
  


 

 

 

  



End file.
